Do you feel like you’re barely holding it together?
Like you are watching your life go by from the outside and you don’t know who you are or who you want to be anymore? Did someone or something take away your sense of self-worth and leave you feeling helpless and out of control- like you’re just operating in survival mode?
The way others see you and the face you need to put on every day doesn’t feel like the real you- the person hidden inside.
It’s exhausting keeping her locked in while at the same time being absolutely terrified of what might if you let her peek out from behind the mask. Will others hate you? Will your life fall apart? Will you have a breakdown and never recover? Will your life be ruined? What if you can’t control her, can’t put her back and get on with things when you need to?
These fears are completely real and can be utterly paralysing.
It doesn’t matter what culture you’re from, what age you are, whether you’re queer or straight or where you fit on the female identity spectrum: so many of us keep moving forward each day, just pretending to be fine when we’re really not, and scared of what might happen if we take that step to say to someone these 3 words:
I Need Help.
This is especially true when you’ve experienced trauma. Trauma impacts your brain in such a way that has you nearly always feeling like you’re on the brink of being out control, of living two lives, of feeling kind of ‘blurry’ and fuzzy .
You might feel a bit ‘groundhog day’- like you know things are happening that you want to change, that you want to be different, but you can’t seem to link them in your head to be able to move into a happier space. You can’t quite get a grip on a strong narrative- of the past or of a desired vision of the future.
Nothing is too small or large to work on in counselling.
“I want to talk
about what happened
how much it hurt.
There has to be a way.
To care for the wounds
without reopening them.
To name the pain
without inviting it back
— Lora Mathis
Traumatic experiences don’t have to be dug up and laid on the table in all their muddy ugliness to be named and prevented from taking over your identity.
I know that sometimes the stories you believe about yourself are limiting. Those stories hold you back from going on a journey of healing. The awful feelings that you carry around from some of your most dominant stories contribute to thinking the most horrible things about yourself and what you are capable of.
Would you like to thrive instead of just survive?
That’s how Narrative approaches work. There are roads that people don’t usually travel down when telling or listening to a story- roads that lead to tales of boldness when you thought you were weak; creativity when you thought you had none; protectiveness when you thought you were only a victim, and pride when you had carried around shame.
Additionally I can introduce Mindfulness techniques and other trauma-informed approaches to assist you to be safely ‘in’ a moment and not mentally travel through time whenever your brain believes you to be in danger and sends you off into anxiety, panic, depression or out-of-controlness.
I can help you to regain your sense of self, rebuild your identity and feel stronger.
No one has the right to steal your identity: we work together to discover, name and celebrate parts of you that have been hidden in the fog.
I can help you enrich your story in new ways to enable you to burst out of survival mode and into the life you want for yourself and your loved ones. If you believe life is for living and experiencing then this could be the journey of a lifetime- a literal life saver. I also learn from the privilege of travelling on these journeys, and I find that there are even times when your story can help someone else in a similar situation.