You used to feel fairly confident.
When you made decisions you didn’t spend hours… days… weeks second-guessing yourself. Even if you didn’t know exactly how to get there, you knew what you wanted.
There was some playfulness in your life, like adventures were possible and things would work out even when life got hard. You had a sense-of-self that felt pretty solid, an identity that you rarely even considered because it was just THERE.
When did that slip away?
Now it feels as though decisions are impossible to make. You’re constantly questioning yourself and tying yourself in knots over everything from the big stuff to every day choices. It’s hard to feel good about anything you do or who you are.
You thought you knew what you wanted, but was that right?
What If’s hurl themselves in front of you: What If I’m in the wrong job, wrong relationship, wrong town?
Life doesn’t feel much fun anymore. You’re plagued by imposter syndrome, anxiety, relentless busyness but also boredom, loneliness, low self-esteem and fear.
Worst of all that ‘sense-of-self’ you didn’t even think about feels wobbly now, or even non-existent. You find yourself dreaming about that person who knew what they wanted and could take action without so much stress and worry.
You know something needs to change but have no idea where to start.
You feel like there are an overwhelming amount of things you need to address, but if you start with counselling you’ll be well on your way to finding your lost identity. And it’s not as complicated as it seems right now.
“No need to hurry, No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself“
— Virginia Woolf
It may surprise you to know that the answers don’t necessarily lie in addressing the things you need to do ‘out there’.
Better choices arise from re-building a solid centre.
We aren’t seeking that previous self or some hidden ‘inner’ person who doesn’t exist. Instead we are integrating all of your life experience into a new sense-of-self.
A person who knows their worth and feels greater contentment whether they are looking for a new career, parenting, or gallivanting around the countryside on a camel.
Counselling to find your lost identity can help you connect with your deeper values
Counselling can help you:
- Clarify what is REALLY important
- Process the things that have happened to disconnect you from your sense-of-self. This is a place where we can talk through shame, grief, and other human struggles in a way that makes your experiences bearable
- Bring you towards an understanding of yourself that surpasses the yearning for an ‘old me’ who knew everything (except how challenging life could be)
When we tell our stories in ways that make us feel stronger, a surprising amount of self-awareness, knowledge and confidence arises.
It’s from that place we find everything else settles.
If you’re interested in that kind of counselling, I’d love to hear from you.
Photo by Lynnea Tan on Unsplash
