self-care when you're broke, online personal coaching

How to Self-Care When You’re Broke

I know what you’re thinking. The wellness industry is a joke. Designed to take advantage of over-privileged people who have too much time and money on their hands. Self-care can feel unavailable to people who have to work, deal with serious hardships, and take care of their homes.

What if you can’t afford to go to yoga 3 times a week, or take up a musical instrument or buy Gwyneth’s latest magical trinket?

Not to mention that collective anxiety is roaring at the moment. All the news hurts and it’s hard not to feel sucked under.

My list of treats isn’t going to change any of that i’m afraid. I wish it could. No amount of self-care is going to stop you caring about the things that are worth caring about. Feelings you should feel.

I’m sorry.

I really am sorry.

I’m not going to suggest you try and find your ‘upbeat’ self, or that you don’t allow yourself to cry. Sometimes the feelings are super-squiggy and all we’re doing is surviving. We’re human beings (though some of us are in ‘zombie’ mode at certain times).

But I do have a very small offering.

Stop doom-scrolling, switch off the news, put a temporary ban on any conversations about the dark issues, don’t try and improve anything. Let yourself bathe in a few bits n bobs I’ve curated that feed the soul in the ‘right here, right now’.

If you have anything to add PLEASE DO in the comments. The rules are: no politics, no triggers, no distractions, all lusciousness.

WATCH: Back to Nature (ABC iview)

Back to Nature is the ultimate in slow TV and First Nations storytelling. Each episode centres on a visit to somewhere any city-dweller could get to easily, but through a lens of extreme close-ups and with a gentle, knowledgeable guide everything is refreshed. Most viewers will be familiar with actor Aaron Pedersen who is host and executive producer of this spectacular series, and you’ll enjoy writer Holly Ringland’s take on their experiences.

You are invited to join Holly, Aaron and their various guides and guests on the walk of a lifetime- and it’s ok if you have a bung knee or aren’t fit- these folks are never puffed out (Aaron is riding a bike so slowly in one scene he’s almost swerving off the path).

This show is about appreciating country, respecting our land- but it’s incredibly gentle about it. In just a few episodes I felt enveloped in a glorious warm glow. Like i’d had a really beautiful meal or watched a stunning sunset.

You’ll be rubbing dirt into your armpits before you know it (IYKYK).

EXTRA: ‘Joanna Lumley’s Britain’ (also on ABC iview). Having never watched her travel series before, I was pleasantly surprised to discover what a wonderful companion Lumley is, and being in her home country it’s all the sweeter. Sumptuously filmed it’s a reminder to love where you are, with this queen of superlatives. While there’s some comedy as she revisits her time on Corrie or as a Bond Girl, there’s depth too, beginning her journey at Tilbury with the artist Everton Wright’s exhibition about first generation Caribbean immigrants. I know she’s been criticised for these series (and yes, there’s a certain tone-deafness) but I couldn’t help loving it. A hopeful and joy-filled adventure.

READ: Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn

I’m sure you’re sick of Mindfulness. You’ve got the app, read the article, done the YouTube video. But seriously friend- this time it’s different. I first read this book when I was going through a rocky time about 10 years ago and it helped me a lot. Jon Kabat-Zinn’s classic book manages to make Mindfulness feel real and possible, while at the same time explaining in normal language how profound it can be.

Each chapter is quite short. You can put it down and pick it up when you have a spare moment. It has lots of lovely quotes and practical exercises.

But it’s also an invitation to take it slowly. There are no goals, no need to beat yourself up if you struggle. He reminds you again and again how the mind works when we’re struggling with these practices (it’s not personal), and invites us gently to try again, maybe in a slightly different way.

I remember having this book by my side, sitting by a creek not far from the city, watching thoughts travel down the water and smiling to myself. There is nowhere else I need to be except right here right now, curious to my own inner world, travelling with myself in Mindful practice.

You should be able to get this book from the library or secondhand. Note that if you click and buy here I may get a small commission from Bookshop.org, the online retailer supporting independent bookstores in the USA and UK.

DO: Make a vision board: Cut stuff out of magazines or brochures and stick it on paper

Grab a bunch of old mags at the op shop. You can usually find anything from Home Beautiful to Retrobike to Vogue to Frankie to Breathe to Woman’s Weekly to Escape to Inked to Open Road. Or source free brochures, newspapers, postcards and handouts.

Sit for a moment and jot down who you want to be, how you want to feel over the next few months. Go for more internal, sensory stuff rather than practical tick-boxes (lay off the fitness plans and international travel fantasies for now).

Cut out anything that relates and grabs your attention (in a good way). A vision board can be about literal words and images, but I think it’s most nourishing when it’s about plastering a page full of ‘being’ and ‘feeling’ stuff. Or tell me to F-off, do it however you want, just don’t overthink it.

There’s something really satisfying about cutting stuff out and sticking it down with intention. Also you can have fun doing this with partners, friends or kids, so there’s really no excuse.

MAKE: A rice or rice paper face mask

I recently noticed this trend on Tik-Tok and was intrigued (I’m not even on Tik-Tok, which means it’s escaped and is running wild in the world). Living in an Asian country where rice is THE staple, it seems an easy thing to try.

Take your time. Let your fingers get gooey and don’t get frustrated if it’s not perfect. Invite a friend over to make a mess and relax together. Massage into your skin and really enjoy the cool, nourishing feeling.

LISTEN: La Voce Del Violoncello by Elinor Frey

Elinor Frey, courtesy of http://www.elinorfrey.com/en/

I know nothing about cello’s or classical music, but I love this album by Elinor Frey. Her playing of this music gets right inside my bones and lifts me from the inside out.

This album might not be your cup of tea. Music is very personal, and ebbs and flows as our taste buds change over our lives. But we’re looking for self-care you can do when you’re broke, and engaging deeply and in a different way with music is one of those things FOR SURE.

I invite you to find some instrumental music that you like (which encompasses a lot of classical music, but also might include jazz, solo guitar aficionados, or Finnish death metal – if you can’t understand the language it’s exactly what we’re looking for). Put on someone’s whole album, not a playlist, and let them take you on a journey in which you are not focused on lyrics. Our brains go to words very easily, allow the other parts of your brain to get a sweet massage.

READ: The Art of Frugal Hedonism by Annie Raiser-Rowland with Adam Grubb

I read this book when I was broke and living in inner-city Melbourne. I borrowed it from the library. The authors’ enthusiasm for the endless possibilities of a happy frugal life felt infectious. Truly joyful and with a lack of self-righteousness. You can imagine embracing these principles without rolling your eyes too much. You can apply the ideas to any location, but it didn’t hurt me that they are from inner-city Melbourne.

This book opened my eyes to so many options. It made everything around me feel different for a time. It doesn’t matter if you’re financially comfortable or struggling, ‘frugal hedonism’ is for everyone to take a look at their choices and pause for a moment. Slow down. Look around. Find the fun.

One example (of many) I recall is a ‘night hike’, in which they don backpacks in the evening and simply ‘hike’ all the way to end of the train line and then catch the first train back home in the early hours of the morning. Another is having a gathering where you invite friends over who’ve been tasked to research an intriguing topic, and then present it in a fun way for discussion. Some homemade pizza, cheap wine and you’ve got yourself a night to remember.

DISCOVER: Yoga with Adriene

If you haven’t heard someone banging on about Yoga with Adriene by now then you weren’t in COVID-19 lockdown. But if you haven’t, welcome to Adriene and her dog Benji.

Adriene’s videos are designed for home yoga. You don’t need anything but a beach towel, a pillow and comfy clothes. I’ve been told she has 600 videos on YouTube and i’d believe it. They range from 5 mins to a full session (though don’t assume the short ones are necessarily easier. The 45 minute one i’ve linked to ‘Yoga for PTSD’ is a really gentle and nourishing session. Most people should be able to do most of it and benefit).

She has kids videos, 30-day adventures, and with sessions entitled ‘yoga for when you feel dead inside’ there really is something for everyone. I myself drop in and out with Adriene, and I always feel the benefits. My posture, breathing and therefore ‘calmness’ are better, my core is stronger, energy lighter. But also it just FEELS really good, and that’s what this list is about.

Hot tip: make sure you leave time for a decent savasana (corpse pose, lying still) at the end. If you feel edgy when just lying there, that means you need it! Lying still when you’re recovering from exercise or feeling anxious, breathing deeply and letting the practice sink in is – IMO – pretty much the most important thing you can do for self-care.

EXTRA: If you’ve got curves for the gods like me, then you might want something to help with adjustments. Jessamyn Stanley has you covered with this awesome book ‘Every Body Yoga’. You should also follow her on Instagram and join in for free practices. Just be aware that Jessamyn is a true activist and life-adventurer. She will challenge almost everything you think you know or believe about health, relationships, lifestyle options and the world. She’s one of the most exciting people occupying the global wellbeing space.

MAKE: Chai

Chai can seem like a posh drink, but the core ingredients are inexpensive. And while there’s a little time input at the beginning, once you’ve made a mix it’s done and easy to reach for when you need a pick-me-up. Take 5-10 minutes for yourself to enjoy the process.

Pop a heaped teaspoon per cup in a saucepan with a little water and bring to the boil, then reduce to simmer. Add a generous amount of milk/nut milk and lashings of honey. Smell it, taste it, stir it. Don’t pop it on and then walk away. Really get into the making.

I think it’s almost more nourishing stirring and smelling than drinking. But do drink. Warm up. Close your eyes. Embrace the scent of deliciousness.

DO: forest, suburb, bush or city bathe

This activity is extra-meaningful after you’ve watched ‘Back to Nature’ or read ‘Frugal Hedonism’. Go on a sloooooowwwww walk, right from your front door. Take in your surroundings with fresh eyes. Introduce yourself to country. Look up. Touch a wall (carry your sanitiser of course). Breathe in the air. Forage from an urban fruit tree hanging over a fence. Crunch up a eucalyptus leaf and smell it. Observe some graffiti for 15 minutes, even if it’s just tagging. Listen to birdlife.

If you go with someone else, make a rule that if you talk, you can only talk about your surroundings. What are you seeing, hearing, smelling, touching, feeling, experiencing?

And this isn’t off the cards with kids either. A friend was recently telling me how her toddler makes her see the world around her as so much bigger: he’s curious about everything. He can wonder at a stone or a pebble or a bug forever. Let’s be like that, just for a day or two.

Did you find this article ‘self-care when you’re broke’ helpful? Please add your own hot tips in the comments below. If you liked this post, you’re sure to enjoy ‘28 Real Self-Care Ideas: More Than Just Taking a Bath‘.

And if you’re looking for a personal coach, here’s some more info on working with me. I also offer online counselling, narrative therapy, online relationship coaching and business coaching.

Main Image by Ron Lach on Pexels
Vision Board image from designsponge.com
Rice image by Vie Studio on Pexels
Elinor Frey from her website
Chai Image by nipananlifestyle on Pixabay
Raspberries image by Vasil Stefanov on Pixabay