In the beginning we all think our relationship will be different. Especially if we’ve chosen to go on a different path from the usually ‘acceptable’ ways of being in relationship. It’s impossible to imagine loneliness, miscommunication, jealousy, boredom and resentment creeping in. We have ALL the conversations to prevent things from falling apart.
We believe our love is stronger than anything.
It’s hard to imagine the roadblocks a relationship might encounter as time goes on. Whether you’re in a ‘conventional’ partnership/marriage, or a ‘less conventional’ relationship (if you are ethically non-monogamous or if you are childfree etc…), roadblocks will arise and they can completely knock you out of your car and send you rolling down a mountainside before you even know what is happening.
I offer online couples counselling to help name, address and shift those roadblocks aside.
Even if a relationship is solid, we can and should seek professional support sometimes, because life is long my friends. Relationships that don’t have any troubles arise don’t exist, and it’s such a good feeling knowing you are equipped to deal with the hard stuff.
Because feeling that your relationship is in trouble is one of the worst feelings. You’re stuck, worried, angry, hurt and sick to your stomach.
Those feelings keep many folks from coming to counselling, but desperately looking for advice. There’s A LOT of advice out there for people struggling in their romantic relationships. And much of it is great.
But what’s the point if you can’t apply it, together, to your particular circumstances?
Narrative therapy is interested in YOUR understandings and definitions of the problems invading the happiness of your relationship.
I don’t have magic formulas and I don’t dish out too much homework. What I do have is relentless curiosity about your romantic relationship and individuals in it. I am also a sex-positive and open-minded therapist who comes with wide-ranging experience.
Every relationship has problems despite how ideal they look from the outside. We all engage in patterns we aren’t aware of or feel powerless to change. We are all subject to similar pressures of daily life yet we hardly ever talk about it.
Let’s get underneath the day-to-day issues and help you get back to your connection.
In therapy we explore the stories of your relationship and look for themes… patterns… that emerge when times are troubled. Importantly we don’t ignore what is going well. Most people are surprised to find they can deal with the big stuff- even things like grief or infidelity- with less pain and judgments as the work moves forward.
That doesn’t mean we brush off behaviours that hurt someone. It means I help you get unstuck from ugly cycles and move towards better choices that maximise loving kindness for yourselves and each other.
Love starts as a feeling, but to continue is a choice. And I find myself choosing you, more and more every day.Justin Wetch
Something to bring with you in preparation for online couples counselling is your intention to look inward and work on yourself as much as- or more than- the other person. Relationship counselling is most effective when everyone involved really shows up and prioritises the relationship. Where no one feels silenced but can be respectful to the other, even while being deeply honest.
If you feel willing to turn toward your partner and then look outward at the problems (with a lot of help from me!) then you are ready.
You see, it’s a pretty big commitment.
Rarely is one session enough, and you may also need or want 1:1 sessions as part of the couples work. But it could very well be the most important time and money you’ve ever invested.
Counselling clients are more able to truly inhabit their partner’s headspace and understand their choices and behaviours on a level that wasn’t previously available to them. They’ve been able to feel understood, listened to, loved and give love more freely.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Reach out while there’s enough hope and kindness there to find your way to something wonderful.
All you need is:
- An internet connection (I don’t offer relationship counselling on the phone)
- The ability to sit next to one another in view of the computer screen
- A willingness to get real about this relationship
Get in touch to ask me any questions.
** IMPORTANT: There are some things that can’t be ‘worked through’ in online couples counselling. Namely any kind of abuse or violence. Couples counselling can actually make things worse in these circumstances, becoming another tool of power and control.
If you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, please contact 1800RESPECT if you are in Australia. They are there to listen to and support you. They will not force you to do anything you are not ready for, but no one can help if they don’t know the truth about what is wrong.