Do you find it hard to talk about the complexity of your life from a truthful place because others look at you with pity, assuming your problems stem from being alone, rather than really listening to what is going on specifically for you?
Being single and being unhappy are not the same thing, but they can certainly be connected. People in relationships can minimise the loneliness you feel, they judge how you seek to connect or be touched- they misunderstand the experience of being alone in a world that privileges couples and families.
Being lonely can be confused with feelings that you deserve to be in pain and alone, that there’s nothing that can be done, and reinforce ideas that people don’t like you or that you can never reach a point that you want to be in relationships.
You might react by withdrawing into yourself, thoughts driving you to distraction and trapping you in a private hell.
You’re also vulnerable to being taken advantage of by scam artists, and you’re vulnerable to a negative torrent of self-talk that no one else has the chance to interfere in and offer another kinder and more truthful voice.
That’s an awful place to feel trapped in.
Narrative approaches recognise that the pressures to be ‘normal’ in society- and who decides and then polices what IS ‘normal’- can leave a lot of people out of the story. In fact, these ideas leave most of us out. They also prevent us from reaching out when we really need to, because it seems shameful to admit when our life doesn’t look like what we are told it should.
I can help you recognise the ways in which these dominant stories can cause pain and hold you back from seeking the experiences in life that you desire.
You can break free from a cycle of loneliness, unwanted behaviour, self-questioning and self-hate with someone walking alongside you to discover your own brand of hope, your own unique skills and maximise your best and most preferred ways of being in the world.
I understand the pain of loneliness- within relationships and in being alone. Everyone deserves to be as loved and connected as they desire.
With counselling you can find peace within yourself and unveil your own magnificent stories that you weren’t previously aware of.
You can then move onto richer journeys towards understanding yourself, finding connection, love for yourself and with others in ways you may never have expected. Let’s create stories of hope together.
All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart. – Tahereh Mafi
